My biggest fail in 2025, by a wide margin, was missing the boat on the greatest garage punk album in years — the debut long player from Dutch destroyers The ETTERS. When I finally heard that record, maken je hartstikke DOOD!, it practically scorched my ears clean off my head. If you too have been waiting forever for the best album that Rip Off Records never released, you're probably already an ETTERS super-fan. If not, well, now you've got two new releases to check out! Out on France's Fish & Cheap Records, The ETTERS' new self-titled 7" delivers three furious tracks of ultra-snotty lo-fi trash in three glorious minutes. Even if you don't know a single word of Dutch, you can tell how gleefully foul-mouthed and hilariously scathing these lyrics are. And this is how you play punk rock: with reckless thumping fury and a middle finger flying in the face of entire world. On top of that, these tunes are catchier than chlamydia on a college campus. With song titles that roughly translate to "There's Nothing About You That I Don't Hate" and "Eat My Snot," you know they're not singing about sunshine and roses. Had I been hip to the full-length while we are still living in 2025, it would have easily made my top three on my year-end albums list. But hey! At least I didn't make the same mistake twice! My friends in Europe will want to grab the 7" ASAP since it's extremely limited. Here in the states, import prices are probably prohibitive. But you can certainly stream the shit out of maken je hartstikke DOOD! while you guzzle cheap beer, pogo like a maniac, and plot the ruin of everyone who has ever wronged you. Cheers to Jerry, Luna, and Kate for breathing so much life into punk rock that I feel like I'm hearing it for the first time again!
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