Friday, July 04, 2025

Cretonix - Byproduct Of The 80s


Rum Bar Records hits another one out of the park! Cretonix's Byproduct Of The 80s is a solo project by Murph from The Cretins that sounds very unlike The Cretins. Murph, a well-known figure in the pop-punk world, has crafted an homage to the new wave and synth-pop sounds that were all the rage in the early-to-mid-'80s. But what could have turned out to be a gimmicky record proves to be anything but. This is arguably the best album Murph has ever been a part of. It's not just about his chosen musical style —  it's about how well he has executed the style. Byproduct Of The 80s broadly celebrates a moment in popular culture when MTV, big hair, synthesizers, and drum machines reigned supreme. Just as importantly, this was a glorious time for well-crafted radio hits. And that's why Cretonix hits the mark. It doesn't just emulate the sounds of '80s new wave. It reminds us that all this music is so warmly remembered today because the songs were so amazing. Beyond anything else, this is a terrific pop record that can be fully enjoyed even if you're not the least bit nostalgic for the '80s. 

When I think of the most important influences ever on melody-driven pop music, I'd say the Ramones and Beatles are the absolute gods. Next in line would be The Cars. With that mind, I'd say The Cars are to Cretonix what the Ramones are to The Cretins. Murph was inspired to make this record while listening to Heartbeat City, and the influence is palpable. But what I like about Byproduct Of The 80s is that its influences are more broad than specific. It's not trying to sound like any particular band or bands, but it definitely evokes the feel and spirit of the '80s. The album switches back and forth between new wave, power pop/pop-rock, synth-pop, and post-punk in a truly seamless fashion. If Murph was trying to make his own soundtrack to a John Hughes movie, I'd say he totally nailed it. If you fondly recall a time when The Cars, The Cure, INXS, A Flock of Seagulls, the Psychedelic Furs, Eurythmics, The Outfield, Men Without Hats, Rick Springfield, Missing Persons, A-ha, and Bryan Adams were all on the radio at the same time, you'll dig the vibe of this album. And even if the '80s were well before your time, I still think you'll dig the vibe of this record. Murph has always had a flair for writing a catchy pop song, but here he has taken his songwriting talents to another level. He has a surprisingly good voice for this kind of music, and his ability to program and arrange these more sophisticated pop songs is highly impressive. For a DIY solo project, this album sounds remarkably well-produced. Over a number of years, Murph has put a lot of time into honing his skills with the synths and drum machines, and as a result, Byproduct Of The 80s comes off like the work of a true craftsman. 

As a fellow '80s kid who grew up to be a '90s pop-punker, I'm getting all the feels from Cretonix. There's nothing ironic or silly about Murph's approach to this music. Byproduct Of The 80s was conceived out of a genuine love for the culture and sounds of the '80s, and Murph really did justice to this style of music. And I love that fate has brought Malibu Lou and Murph back together. I'm sitting here imagining the look on Lou's face when he heard this record — he must have been flipping out! This is an absolute dandy of an album. You'll come for the retro vibes, but you'll stay for the killer tunes!

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