The Lord Rutledge Awards 2011

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, there was a grand New Year's tradition called the Lord Rutledge Awards. Every December 31st, the true believers gathered in a top secret location revealed by hidden codes printed on the undersides of beer bottle caps. Individuals attired in tall hats and formal garb eagerly awaited proclamations of world-altering significance. There was food and drink and music and dancing…but no clowns. Clowns were strictly forbidden. A few were maimed to make a point. Winners of these awards paraded down major thoroughfares hoisting their trophies towards the sky while children danced gleefully in the streets to the sounds of their recordings. Videotapes of these festivities, once housed in the Now Wave Magazine Hall of Fame and Sausage Shop in Strongsville, Ohio, were lost in a flood. You will have to take my word for it. 

Now Wave Magazine is no more, but the Lord Rutledge Awards live again. A number of occurrences of recent months have led to the revival of these awards. More than one elected public official played a critical role. There was a letter-writing campaign and an Occupy Five Guys demonstration. I was moved to action by a vivid dream involving a talking walrus, a headless Wal Mart greeter, a Wham! comeback tour, neon green Oreos, and the fictional landlord Stanley Roper. But mostly, it all comes down to the music. If it weren't for all the great bands who released so much outstanding music in the year 2011, we would have nothing to celebrate this evening. Thank you to all who have come here tonight. Some of you traveled a very long way. In honor of our guests from overseas, we will be serving only German beer tonight. If you did not receive your bag of burgers at the door, there will be another pass-around momentarily. Much appreciation goes out to Shawn Abnoxious and Gunther 8544, who have agreed to sit in, on standup bass and beatbox respectively, with Greg Mongroll on a special live medley of songs from the forthcoming Mongrolls album. I will be grabbing my cowbell and joining in for a rousing cover of "Gimme Danger". It should be an entertaining and fun-filled evening. And without any further ado, let's get to the awards!

Song of the Year:

The Dahlmanns- "I Love You Baby (But I Hate Your Friends)"

So what if they didn't write it? Andy Shernoff wrote it, and Andy Shernoff is the man! My hearing a pop song this good on the radio was a major impetus behind my return to music reviewing. You may recall that The Dahlmanns took a fair run at Album of the Year honors. They came up just a little short, but having the best song of the entire year ain't too shabby! Runner-up was "Victory Lap" by Missing Monuments.

Best New Band:

The Cry!

This was a close one, because on the punk rock side of things the Dead Tricks from New York City arrived with a bang in their own right. But you know I'm a sucker for pop, right? And in the pop department, The Cry! from Portland straight up blew my mind. Seriously - this band's gonna be special! Expect a review of their debut album within the next couple of weeks.

EP of the Year:

Nuclear Santa Claust (self-titled)

In a knife fight between The Pagans and Spits, somebody has to get hurt.

Single of the Year:
Midnite Snaxxx - "Guy Like That" b/w "Jackie"
Tina Lucchesi and Dulcinea "Loudmouth" Gonzalez band together to play garage/powerpop/rock n' roll, and the results are predictably sublime.

Record Label of the Year:

Modern Action Records

It was a close call since Dirtnap Records was again a force this year. But Modern Action takes it on the strength of sheer quantity of A-level releases. Sharp Objects, Amoebas, Modern Pets, Complaints*, Neighborhood Brats…I could go on and on! 

Burger of the Year:

Steak 'n Shake
This was an F & L post not to be missed!

Beer of the Year:
Rogue Captain Sig's Northwestern Ale
A mighty and delicious red ale. See my beer blog for more details!

Read of the Year:
"The Last American" by Shawn Abnoxious
I may not have read a great novel in the year 2011, but I did read a short story for the ages! If this doesn't make it into next year's Best American Short Stories anthology, me and someone at Mariner Books are gonna throw down! Click here for more information and a link to a free download.

Man of the Year:
Kevin McGovern
Remember in pre politically correct times when Time magazine annually gave out a "Man of the Year" award? I've always wanted to do that. So here ya go! This year I'm giving it to the longtime Prostitutes frontman. Just because.

Television Commercial of the Year:

"I'm taking the bus, and you will NOT see me at the pancake social tomorrow!"

The Patrick Bateman Prize for Excellence in Music Criticism:
Zach Braun
In the past, I gave this award based on one particular outstanding review. This year, I'm opting to recognize the best reviewer/blogger of the year for his cumulative efforts. I marvel at the depth of Zach's musical knowledge. His reviews are always well thought-out, well-researched, and well-written. And his passion for what he does is truly inspiring. Take a look at Random Old Records. You'll learn something. You'll be entertained. You'll discover some great new bands! It's like The Big Takeover with better musical taste.

Album of the Year- Masters Class:
Adolescents- The Fastest Kid Alive
This award goes to the best album released by a band at least 25 years into its existence. While the likes of the New York Dolls, Rocket from the Tombs, and Gang of Four turned out credible releases this year, the latest from the Adolescents smokes 'em all. I know this is far from the original Adolescents lineup (only Tony and Steve remain). And no doubt Tony's voice has mellowed over the years. But this is the closest the band has come to reviving the "classic" Adolescents sound in a whole lot of years. If you liked the OFF! album, this is very comparable. These adolescents may now be pushing 50, but they can still bring it!

Album of the Year:
Something Fierce- Don't Be So Cruel
Here's the full list.

Album I Should Have Bought, But Didn't:
Giuda- Racey Roller
Oh well, there's always next year.

Album of the Year 2010:
Kidnappers- Will Protect You
I was not around to give out this award one year ago. Tonight I do so retroactively. The cash prize has been upgraded to account for the declining value of the American dollar.

The Faster and Louder Championship Belt:

Something Fierce
This is a new award which goes to my reigning favorite current band. I feel that, as a follower of music, I need a favorite band. So if someone comes up to me and asks, "Who's your favorite band now?", my answer today is Something Fierce. Will they manage to retain the belts for another year? We shall see! I foresee  formidable challenges from Midnite Snaxxx, The Cry!, and others. Thrilling times ahead!

Happy New Year, dear readers! Thanks so much for taking the time to follow F & L! May you all have a healthy and prosperous 2012! For the new year, expect more postings on the best in new punk rock and power pop. Food coverage will be expanded into new territories (wings? chili?). Of course you can look forward to the usual lists and band battles...and perhaps a few new features including an F & L Hall of Fame! See you next year! Drive safe!

-L.R. 

Got no complaints about Complaints*!

A sad development I started to notice in the middle-to-late 2000s was the decline of the great punk rock record label. You know what I'm talking about. There were certain labels, and you knew that every single thing they put out was gonna rule. You could take it to the bank. You always knew what you were getting, too: straight-up punk rock in the classic style. In a punk scene that was becoming increasingly infiltrated by hipsterism and "modernization", you could count on these labels to steer clear of such nonsense. Call me a genre geek if you want, but I like my punk music to be steeped in the tradition of The Ramones and Thunders and Iggy and The Clash.

Flash forward to the year 2011. The great punk rock record label may be a dying breed, but the ones that remain are freaking awesome. If Modern Action Records takes me back to the day when labels like Pelado and Radio Records reigned supreme, there's a good reason for that. Modern Action rose out of the ashes of Radio Records, and lately the label's been on a roll! Two of my top ten LPs of 2011 were Modern Action issues, and the seven-inches have been just as good. The latest is from San Francisco punk rock supergroup
Complaints*. The band features members of the Swingin' Utters, Lowdowns, Radio Reelers, and Western Addiction and plays good old-fashioned high energy punk rock n' roll. If I say this is a "classic Radio/Modern Action" type of release, you don't have to guess what I mean. Do you like The Stitches? Do you like The Bodies? Then you'll like Complaints*! *No Action is their fourth seven-inch, and it contains six short, to-the-point songs full of rockin' guitar leads and sing-along choruses. There are no surprises here and no attempts at changing the playbook. This is tried-and-true punk rock, and it's damn good! "I'm a Fool" and "Outcast", the standout tracks here, ride that fine line between '77 style and early '80s American punk, rifling out catchy high-powered tuneage at an accelerated pace. A concluding cover of "Cranked Up Really High" reminds you where these guys are coming from - as if you didn't already know!!!

One of the best EPs of the year!

- L.R.

http://www.modernactionrecords.com
http://complaints.bandcamp.com/album/no-action 
http://www.facebook.com/sfcomplaints

Album of the Year

Most people probably start thinking about their Album of the Year lists in November. Me, I was already working on mine back in June! That's just how my mind works. Nearly every title on this list was mentioned, at the time I reviewed it, as a serious Album of the Year contender. Partly that's because I'm notoriously prone to overstatement. But mostly it's because this was a really great year for punk music. It was the emergence of awesome new bands (like The Keefs) and the incredible strides made by old ones (like Something Fierce) that compelled me to "unretire" from music reviewing this year. And once I got myself going again, I sure didn't have any trouble finding more bands to write about! I'm confident in saying that this Top Ten is the strongest I've put together in a lot of years. The running joke is that I've been internally debating the order of the list to the point of obsession. Much sleep was lost. I re-wrote the list so many times that I contracted writer's cramp. But now that the moment of truth has arrived, my choice for #1 is hardly surprising!

10. Cute Lepers- Adventure Time (1-2-3-4 Go!)
Another really good album from one of the best modern-day '77-style punk bands.  

9. Tenement- Napalm Dream (Mandible Records)
My mandatory Wisconsin entry. "Classic indie" stylings a la Husker Du and Dinosaur Jr. updated for the new punk generation.

8. Amoebas- self titled (Modern Action)
The debut from Grand Rapids, Michigan up-and-comers did not disappoint. Great snotty punk rock. It's like 1997 all over again!

7. Bad Sports – Kings of the Weekend (Dirtnap)
Ramones-inspired punk rock with power pop sensibilities. I was considering this for the #1 position as recently as September 23rd!

6. Barreracudas- Nocturnal Missions (Douchemaster)
Their singles were merely okay, but the album was a beast. A great mix of punky power pop and '70s style rockin' glam. Bonus points for an album title that would make Beavis and Butthead chuckle.

5. Night Birds- The Other Side of Darkness (Grave Mistake)
Breakneck early '80s California hardcore transplanted to 2011 Brooklyn and the Jersey shore- with requisite surf motif. In most other years, this would have easily made my top two.

4. Missing Monuments- Painted White (Douchemaster)
The great King Louie makes his "power pop" album, which sounds to me like rootsy rock n' roll! Classic.

3. The Dahlmanns- All Dahled Up (Pop Detective)
Ramones-inspired female-fronted power pop featuring Andre from the Yum Yums and his wife Cecile Line. This would be a multi million seller in a better world.

2. Sharp Objects- self titled (Modern Action)
From The Crowd to The Adolescents to Smogtown and numerous bands in between, there's been one hell of a California beach punk legacy. "Two guys from The Bodies, one guy from The Briefs, and a guy from Puerto Rico" are the latest to inherit the torch. For the record, this was Greg Mongroll's Album of the Year.

1. Something Fierce- Don’t Be So Cruel (Dirtnap)
Something Fierce was my favorite up-and-coming band when I shut down Now Wave Magazine four years ago. But the Houston trio has grown by leaps and bounds since then, and Don't Be So Cruel is the album that's taken them to the next level. It sounds like the album you wish The Clash had made in 1982, yet at the same time its feel is very "modern". Always skilled at writing simple pop/punk songs, this band has demonstrated that even more sophisticated material can be laden with hooks. Just as impressively, the album's lyrics manage to make serious statements about political and social matters without coming off lame or preachy. And while Something Fierce have something to say, that doesn't mean they don't have fun doing it! Don't Be So Cruel brings a funky, frenetic energy propelled by a playful dynamic between guitar and bass. Niki Sevven is the female Paul Simonon!

There you have it. 2011 will forever be remembered as an awesome year for albums! And just in case you're wondering about EP of the Year, Song of the Year, Best New Band, and a host of other high honors, stay tuned! The 2011 Lord Rutledge Awards are coming in ten days!

- L.R.

Some Rock n' Roll from The No Tomorrow Boys!

I'd be hard-pressed to name a single greater era of music than punk rock 1977-79. But American rock n' roll 1955-59 just might have it slightly beat. Sadly with modern bands that take inspiration from the latter, you rarely hear the danger and wildness of the original sounds. Too many '50s style bands soften the edges of rock n' roll and come off "cute" or "old-fashioned". The fuck-off attitude somehow gets lost in translation. Thankfully there are exceptions. Coming on like an Americanized Guitar Wolf or The Cramps sans the horror theme, Portland's No Tomorrow Boys get it right! On their debut single, these three fellas uncork a pair of primitive rippers that would not sound out of place on a mixed tape with Gene Vincent, Jerry Lee Lewis, Link Wray, and Little Richard. This is the REAL DEAL, kids! Any old band can ape the style, but The No Tomorrow Boys have the fire in the soul to genuinely capture the unholy essence of early rock n' roll. It has been a while since I've come across a new band in this mold, and let me tell you it's a real jolt to hear music like this again! These tunes are wild and fun and supercharged with sex (in other words, the opposite of what typically passes for "indie" rock in the year 2011!). If classic late '50s motorcycle gang leather jacket-and-switchblade rock n' roll replete with a bawdy backbeat, howling juvenile delinquent vocals, and red-hot guitar action sounds good to you, well then you have good taste. And The No Tomorrow Boys should be right up your alley! Remember that Richie Cunningham and his pals had a band? They were kind of soft for a rock n' roll outfit! I bet The Fonz would have far preferred to bone his babes while listening to The No Tomorrow Boys. Dig!

- L.R.

http://www.reverbnation.com/thenotomorrowboys
http://www.facebook.com/thenotomorrowboys

Burger of the Year

While the full slate of Lord Rutledge Award winners will not be announced until New Year’s Eve, certain categories of exceptionally high importance have been afforded “extended coverage”. Album of the Year gets its own article, and so does Burger of the Year. In preparation for this list, I’ve been deep in thought for many weeks - often with a burger (or two) in my mouth. I took notes. I explored my feelings. After much reflection and extensive research, I have identified and ranked the ten best burgers of 2011. Behold, burger lovers! The list has been posted! Learn it. Know it. Live it.

10. McDonald’s McDouble
While very little of the post-breakfast Golden Arches menu is suitable for human consumption (even their “angus” burgers taste like Soylent Green), the old school McDonald’s hamburger has changed very little in my lifetime. This is the classic McDonald’s burger, double-stacked for your pleasure and priced well under $2. Yeah, I know it sucks they changed the name and took it off the dollar menu. It’s been three years - get over it.

9. Bob Evans Big Farm Smokehouse Burger
The price point on this thing is kind of ridiculous, but let’s not quibble. At least it’s not Applebee’s. This is a good burger, and toppings like Monterey-jack cheese, Memphis spice-rubbed bacon, and chipotle sauce send the flavor over the top. They don’t make this one in the microwave.

8. Fuddruckers ½ Pound Three Cheese Burger
“World’s Greatest Hamburgers”? More like the world’s eighth-greatest hamburgers. Ya gotta love that fresh produce bar, though. Nine times out of ten, I’ll just opt for the buffalo or wild boar burger.

7. Wendy’s Baconator Double
My wife is boycotting Wendy’s these days because she objects to their new “premium” pickles. I’m with her - what was wrong with the old pickles? Not a thing! The Baconator, though, has no pickles.

6. DuClaw Brewing Co. Spanish Kobe Burger
This is the only non national chain burger on the list. Turns out that the food at DuClaw Brewing Co. is actually better than the beer! How does a charbroiled Kobe beef patty topped with prosciutto, piquillo pepper aioli, and melted manchego cheese on a toasted brioche roll sound? Yeah, I know!

5. Chili’s Jalapeno Smokehouse Burger
As we well know, certain “casual” dining chains are not always known for quality. This joint is an exception. And the JSB is one hell of a fine burger.

4. Burger King Whopper
Still an American classic. 

3. Hardee’s 1/3 Pound Original Thickburger
Made with 100 percent black angus beef, and it shows. Didn’t Hardee’s used to suck? Yes, it sure did. It doesn’t anymore.

2. Five Guys Cheeseburger
Why is Five Guys so great? Their regular cheeseburger is a double cheeseburger! If you only want a single patty (Lightweight!), you have to ask for a “little” cheeseburger. This ain’t no health food chain. Greasy, juicy goodness reigns supreme in this house. Toppings are free. The meat is fresh - the place doesn’t even have a freezer! And the bun rules as well.

 1. Steak ‘N Shake Original Double n’ Cheese Steakburger
78 years old and going strong, the Original Double n’ Cheese has yet to be topped. Made from real steak and housed in a toasted butter bun that’ll bring your mouth to orgasm, this bad boy is a bargain at $3.99. Don’t forget fries!

Notice in the photo above, Handsome Dick is taunting me because he can have White Castle burgers and I cannot. I vow to get to a White Castle in the year 2012. I also vow to, for the first time since the early 1970s, try putting ketchup on fries. How will these developments affect my next burger list? Tune in next year!

- L.R.

All Dahled Up!

Merry Christmas to me! The Dahlmanns album is out! Talk about joy to the world! If you bottled the feelgood powers of The Dahlmanns' music, that shit would fly off the shelves. Even Ebenezer Scrooge would have found himself smiling and dancing within the first 20 seconds of "Get Up, Get Down". The Grinch would have geeked out to "Teenage City". Norwegians do it right! 

Given my innate weakness for girl-fronted power pop and long-standing love of The Ramones, The Dahlmanns were destined to be Faster & Louder favorites. They were, in fact, the second band I ever reviewed on this blog. And in just a few weeks, I will officially award them my 2011 Song of the Year title for their flawless interpretation of Andy Shernoff’s "I Love You Baby (But I Hate Your Friends)". Here's what I love – that song isn't even on the album! They didn't need to pad their debut LP with a hit from months ago. Instead, they went out and wrote a whole slew of new hits! Andre Dahlmann, of the legendary Yum Yums, knows a thing or two about how to write a pop song. And his wife Line Cecile Dahlmann brings a sugar-rush of vocal exuberance that warms the soul like a Christmas cookie bender. Even when she's singing sad songs ("Love the Haters") or creepy ones ("Candypants"), you can't help feeling uplifted in spite of the lyrics. There's just a brightness to this band that is all prevailing. When Santa Claus gets the holiday blahs, this is the band he listens to to regain his good cheer. The big man loves his bubblegum punk!

While the new album does slow the pace in spots to explore more downbeat material, the results are absolutely golden. The jangly "This Time" is a sad love song with absolutely beautiful melodies, and it really demonstrates how pretty of a voice Line Cecile has. Think "Questioningly" by The Ramones with Frida from ABBA on vocals. Superb! And if the Dahlmanns are largely inspired by The Ramones and Primitives, the latter's influence is most palpable on the outstanding track "Going Down". The variety is nice! But I'd be lying if I said my favorite songs on the album weren't the more "classic" Dahlmanns type numbers. "Shake Me Up Tonight" is a stone cold hit. It's got everything: driving guitars, an unstoppably upbeat energy, harmonies out the wazoo, and infectious melodies oozing from every note! It ought to be a #1 single! And "Bright City Lights" might be even better. It's a perfect pop song with such an emotionally charged chorus that it seems it ought to be playing over the closing credits of a feelgood '80s movie! This, my friends, is POP! In an ideal world, "Teenage City" would be the album's third chart-topping single, and The Dahlmanns would perform it on network TV with a gazillion fans tuned in. 

Goody, goody gumdrops! The Dahlmanns have delivered! Especially down the homestretch, All Dahled Up is an invigorating, fun-filled ride that typifies everything power pop is supposed to be. I had been eagerly awaiting this album for many months, and after all that buildup it would have been easy to have found myself at least slightly disappointed. Am I? Not even a little! All Dahled Up is everything I expected and then some. If it's not quite Album of the Year, it's firmly top three. And that's saying something considering that 2011 has been one hell of a year for music! Now bring us some figgy pudding! 

-L.R.



http://www.myspace.com/thedahlmanns/music/albums/all-dahled-up-18136480
http://www.myspace.com/thedahlmanns
http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Dahlmanns/218701981476928

Nuclear Santa Claust

You may have guessed that Nuclear Santa Claust is not a wholesome group of Christmas carolers. Far from it! Imagine instead The Pagans and Screamers massacring each other in a knife fight and coming back as zombies to play Ramones songs under the lights of Armageddon. Most of the time you can tell when a "new" band is trying to play an old style, but that is not the case with this Brooklyn-by-the-way of Cleveland punk rock trio. NSC do not sound like they're from this time. Hell, they don't sound like they're from this planet! On top of that, they're just freakin' great! Remember when punk music was threatening? "Bikini Island" will blow your head clean off! My forthcoming album of the year selection may be shrouded in secrecy, but EP of the year is a stone cold mortal lock for NSC's self-titled debut. If you're a Killed by Death fanatic or a lover of early American punk, you'll want this record under your tree this Christmas!



-L.R.

http://nuclearsantaclaust.bandcamp.com/
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Nuclear-Santa-Claust/145726368798559