There is a sizeable contingent of humans who would consider it a breach of etiquette for a music blogger to review Christmas music before American Thanksgiving. For that very reason, I'm holding off on a writeup of a Christmas song that I believe should become a new holiday standard. I take my etiquette breaches seriously. And thus today I present my dedicated readers the latest single from Ralphie's Red Ryders, which is about a breach of etiquette. Some will call me out for trying to trick them into Christmas creeping, but I will forever maintain that "Triple Dog Dare" transcends the holidays. It's a cautionary tale of what happens when the hasty neglect of established norms amplifies peer pressure. People get hurt. Fire trucks show up. And the guilt you feel is far worse than any punishment you might receive. Having long ago requested that Ralphie's Red Ryders record a song about a triple dog dare, I am most pleased that this song now exists. And I couldn't be happier with the way it turned out. In the patented musical style of their beloved 2020 debut album You'll Shoot Your Eye Out, Ralphie, Flick, and Schwartz recount the tale of the world's most famous triple dog dare. That chorus is so simple yet so perfect. And I believe Miss Shields would consider this theme worthy of at least a B+. Long after the Christmas decorations go down and holiday cheer gives way to seasonal affective disorder, "Triple Dog Dare" will still be relevant. For as long as poles remain frozen and kids remain uneducated on the thermal conductivity of metal, even the slightest breach of etiquette can have dire consequences. Trust science, kids.
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