Food of the Year: The Contenders

By popular demand (actually just the singular suggestion of Dr. Shawn Abnoxious), I am publicly announcing the nominees for this year’s Faster and Louder Food of the Year Award. The victor, along with all the rest of the 2011 Faster and Louder Award winners, will be declared at a black-tie event to be held New Year’s Eve at a top secret location. Many of the following food items have already been mentioned in this very blog space. Some have not. Pay attention. You may be quizzed on this material at a later date.

The nominees:

Tony Packo’s hot dog (Toledo, OH)

Steak N’ Shake double steakburger

The Slice of Heaven sub at The Deli of Italy (York, PA) (Sicilian salami, capocollo, prosciutto, fresh mozzarella)

Hardee’s Original Thickburger combo

The Original Philly cheesesteak at Philadelphia Steaks & Hoagies (Camp Hill, PA)

I had originally nominated the gyros at Gyro X-Press in York, but upon further review the fifth and final nomination must go to Hardee’s. First of all, Hardee’s has by far the best fast food French fries going (McDonald’s be damned!). And the 1/3 pound Thickburger – made from angus beef – is up there with the Wendy’s double at the very top of its class. Hardee’s, once a declining power in the fast food world, has made itself over in recent years by emphasizing quality at a slightly higher price point than its competitors. Driven by my latest numerical imperative, Mission 350 (the objective is to deadlift 350 pounds, without straps, by the end of the year), I have been visiting Hardee’s on an average of twice a week in pursuit of extreme nutritional fortification. I recommend that you do the same.

Other honors to be handed out at the 2011 Faster and Louder Awards may include:

Album of the Year

Song of the Year

Beer of the Year

The Championship Belt (awarded to the reigning Greatest Band on Earth)

Album of the Year Masters Class (only bands formed prior to 1986 are eligible)

Best New Band

The Patrick Bateman Prize for Excellence in Music Criticism

Least Sucky Mainstream Hit Single
The Faster and Louder Lifetime Achievement Award

Tickets for this first annual extravaganza will soon be available from your local purveyors of Polish sausage, craft beer, plus-sized pornographic films, and strongman training equipment. Andy Dick is tentatively signed on to host. The Mongrolls will be playing songs from their new album and debuting their two new members who were recently smuggled into Cape Cod via row boat. ESPN 4 will have the live broadcast. Stay tuned!

- L.R.

New England's newest hit makers, indeed!

If I often praise certain bands for ignoring the past thirty years of “progress” in popular music, then surely I have to like a band that’s ignored the past fifty. It’s 1962 all over again when I’m listening to The Connection. And since ‘62 predates my birth by nine years, my love for this band has nothing to do with nostalgia. What it has to do with is great music. I was raised on oldies radio. And back then, “oldies” meant The Beatles, Beach Boys, and Chuck Berry. You know….the best music ever made! Ever notice that today, “oldies” radio now means The Eagles and Jimmy Buffet? Hell, you might as well listen to Top 40! Thankfully some people still appreciate real rock n’ roll. You might remember the names Brad Marino, Geoff Palmer, Chris Faulkner, and Andy Casey from bands like The Guts, The Queers, The Rydells, and Red Invasion. Now they are The Connection - the pride of Portsmouth, New Hampshire! If you love real oldies radio like it used to be, you’re gonna love The Connection. New album New England's Newest Hit Makers takes it all the way back to the classic sounds of the early ‘60s - most notably the British Invasion and early Beach Boys. Whether you prefer the Mersey Beat/proto power pop bliss of “All You Gotta Do” and “I Want You”, the surfy splendor of “Little Lies” and “My Baby Likes to RnR”, or the ’50s flavored goodness of “It’s All Right”, you’ll just have to smile listening to this record. There’s no posturing here. There’s no pretending to be “tough” or even trying to be “punk”. Straight-up, this is fun, feel-good rock n’ roll of the highest quality. The songs are great, the energy is contagious, and the style is timeless. What’s not to love?! This is the debut album The Oneders could have made. If you say it sounds like something your grandma would like, I am pretty sure The Connection would take that as a high compliment. A+!

- L.R.

http://the-connection.bandcamp.com/album/new-englands-newest-hit-makers
http://www.facebook.com/theconnectionRnR?sk=wall

Great Band You Forgot: The Metros

The Metros, from Detroit, had a really catchy punk n' roll sound. They put out one of the best albums ever released on Rip Off Records. Yet nobody seemed to notice, and the band disbanded with little fanfare in the year 2000. I don't know why The Metros never picked up the same level of hype as some of their "big name" labelmates. I don't understand why nobody talks about The Metros anymore, or even remembers them. They were the shit! Remember this one?


How about this one?


Let's show The Metros some love!

- L.R.

Tenement rules, okay?

Blending the sounds and styles of Husker Du, Dinosaur Jr., and early Replacements into that noisy basement pop-punk thing that’s been big in the Midwest for years, Appleton, Wisconsin’s Tenement has firmly established itself as one of the top bands going these days. Long-awaited debut LP Napalm Dream, released this summer, has got to be in the album of the year conversation. It’s really freaking great. Ultimately it makes no difference whether you perceive of Tenement as an indie-fied punk band or a punkified indie band. Because at the end of the day, this power trio fronted by Chinese Telephones drummer Amos Pitsch hearkens back to a time when people weren’t so obsessed with labeling underground music. Great music was great music. Hell, it still is! And Tenement makes great music. The way this band combines melody, aggression, and crackling guitar noise, you’re sure to be reminded of the classic bands it emulates.  But at the same time, Tenement’s music is legitimately “now” sounding. Ultimately, it’s the distinctiveness of the band’s sound and the top-shelf quality of Pitsch’s songwriting that separate Tenement from any of a number of run-of-the-mill indie-classic revivalist type groups. If you like full-throttle rockers, songs like “Stupid Werld”, “Earwig”, and “Skyscraper” are raging, hook-laden, and immediately satisfying. But there are plenty of nice surprises as well, such as “City Bus #30”, which shifts tempos numerous times and demonstrates that finessed songwriting can still kick ass. And “Rock Eating People” sounds like what early ‘90s indie rock would have sounded like if it had actually, uh, rocked! I’ve heard more than one person say that Tenement “owns” pop-punk music these days, and I don’t doubt that for a second. But to some people, “pop-punk” still means wimpy three-chord pop and insipid lyrics about girls. Tenement is more like a band that would have fit in perfectly on your mid-’80s Descendents/Husker Du mixed tapes (yet still, improbably, sounds contemporary in 2011). Napalm Dream, delivering 13 hits and zero misses, will have fans in both “the kids” and oldsters like me. If I owned a record store, I’d file it in the “awesome” section.

- L.R.

http://tenement.bandcamp.com/album/napalm-dream
http://www.myspace.com/tenementwi

Hello, Angora Debs!

I was an Angora Debs true believer the instant I read the band bio blurb “Oakland's answer to Pete Shelley and Dan Treacy attempting to write pop songs and smile between meltdowns”. Late of early 2000s faves the FM Knives, Zack and Patrone teamed up with Marie D. (The Bananas) and Thiemann (The Yahmos, Crash & Britany, the Pretty Girls) to form this notably up-and-coming punk/powerpop outfit. They don’t have that much music out there just yet, but a quick YouTube search will lead you to a dandy one-two punch of pop hits. “If I Go Back” and “Cross Your Fingers” both combine Buzzcocks style punk with high energy lo fi-ish powerpop and hints of the British Invasion. None of this is particularly surprising based on what we remember of the FM Knives. But I’m inclined at this point to say the Angora Debs might be even better than the FM Knives. I love the hooks. I love the ringing melodies. I love the contrast between the upbeat music and the emotionally distraught lyrics. “Nick Lowe on an amphetamine bender with the Buzzcocks”? Sounds good to me! Consider this group an early favorite for Band of the Year 2012!

- L.R.




 http://www.facebook.com/pages/Angora-Debs/130129770354843#!/pages/Angora-Debs/130129770354843?sk=wall

Same as it ever was...

Given that I am and have always been a ‘70s punk/new wave guy, I know I’m supposed to like Talking Heads. And so I’ve tried. I really have. I’ve made every effort. I’ve been open-minded. I’ve given Talking Heads a good three decades to win me over. But when it comes right down to it, I kind of hate their music. Yeah, I know. “Psycho Killer” is cool. And “This Must Be the Place” is pretty great. But that’s pretty much it. David Byrne bothers me. I thought he sucked when I was 12, and I think he sucks now. And I generally don’t mind “punk” bands with an art school influence. But for whatever reason, I can’t stand Talking Heads. The closest I come to loving a Talking Heads song is “Genius of Love” by Tom Tom Club. And having been bombarded with 30 years of critical and fan acclaim for Talking Heads, I can only gather that there’s something wrong with me, something I’ve yet to “get”. It’s not them, it’s me. Two questions, then, faithful readers. First, does anyone else out there think Talking Heads suck balls? And second, do any of you dislike certain universally acclaimed bands? Is there a band that everyone else likes that you, for whatever reason, have never been able to get into? Inquiring minds want to know!

- L.R.

Situations, Situations...

Dave Getzoff, America’s most beloved punk rock D.J., is three-quarters of Tricky Situations. He plays guitar and bass. He sings lead. Legend has it he even bought himself a cowbell in preparation for an epic cover of “Gimme Danger”. Much like other virtuoso multi-instrumentalists such as Prince and Greg Mongroll (who, it turns out, are 12^th cousins twice removed as evidenced by matching purple pinky rings), Dave has begun preparations to have himself cloned in order to facilitate live performances. For now, it will have to suffice to enjoy Tricky Situations as a “studio project”. Recorded this summer with drummer Graham Diguiseppi and producer Cedric Crouch (a veritable legend in southeastern Pennsylvanian punk circles), TS’s six tracks are predictably forged in the old school punk style (You didn’t expect party rap music from Dave, did you?). Sounding quite a bit like the early Dimestore Haloes, Tricky Situations take inspiration from everyone from Johnny Thunders to The Ramones to Slaughter and the Dogs (I’ll give you a donut if you can tell me where they got their band name from!). Simple, no-frills punk tunes like “On My Mind” and “Under the El” ought to find favor with long-running readers of mine or anyone else who enjoyed the ‘90s renaissance of ’77 punk. Although the songs are quite raw, this “digital EP” of sorts is great fun and delightfully devoid of any “modern” influences whatsoever. All in all, damn cool! For sure: you can still do a lot with three chords and some tasty guitar hooks!

- L.R.

http://www.reverbnation.com/trickysituations
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Shout-Above-the-Noise-Radio-Show/108655459152792